AN ORPHAN’s STORY:

 “The hardest part of being an orphan is trying to remember… trying to remember how everything happened, but it just went by too fast. I sit up at night sometimes trying to put the pieces together, but it’s like putting together a puzzle without the picture on the box… I can only remember bits of my old life, a flash back here and there, but it doesn’t feel real. It doesn’t feel like my life, or anything connected to me.

The more I remember the more alone I feel. 

And then, there is the night before it happened. I was sobbing. Not because I was afraid of them, or because I was afraid of being rejected, but because finally that one humiliating facet of my identity was being washed away. Because in that instant that I met my mom and dad, and they hugged me for the first time, I was no longer an orphan. 

No longer an orphan. For the first time, in my life, I had parents. And I know that some people will say that it doesn’t change anything, but for me it changed everything. Because that was who I was. And that’s no longer who I am.

I can still remember that moment the night before we met. That night, the last night that I was an orphan. I remember me sitting on the porch steps outside the orphanage, doubled over and crying harder than I’ve cried in a long time. Because I was so glad to say goodbye to that part of me. That moment made me happy, and has made me happy ever since. The amazing thing is, I’ve had a chance to say hello to something better, something wonderful… Did it change my life? For me – it changed everything… inside and out.”

                                                                 —Anonymous—

Do You Have Hope To Give?

The name “orphan” itself evokes sorrow and sympathy. A baby without a mother… there is no sadder thought. Like the story above, these two beautiful girls live an awful, lonely, and dejected life. They are not blind to the fact that they are orphans. They do not daydream about kings and queens, castles and crowns. They daydream about the day they will have a normal family.

We Said, “YES,” To Hosting…

not fully understanding how, but trusting it would be provided for.

We had quite possibly the most unique hosting situation ever…

In January of 2011, someone in our church walked up to me and handed me a folded check.  The only thing they said was, “This is a seed for your adoption.”  I was dumbfounded.  We had told no one we were even praying about adoption.  As much as we desired to bring a fatherless child into our home, we knew it was not financially feasible.  That very Sunday, the sermon was about Jesus feeding 5000 people with five loaves of bread and two fish.  We felt strongly the Lord was speaking to us about supernatural provision.  He took the “yes” in our hearts and showed us the way to walk it out.

We began looking into domestic adoption.  Somewhere in the process of completing our domestic home study, we came across the P143 website.  I had never even heard of hosting.  We felt drawn to Latvia and our adoption path took a turn.

Our first hosting was in the summer of 2011.  The girls were lovely and we had a fun summer, but they were not interested in being adopted.  Knowing we were called to adopt, we hosted again in December of 2011.  We chose two sisters but later received the information that something had happened and they were no longer available for hosting.  We were actually in the car, on the way to get documents notarized, and we prayed. A van pulled up behind us with the license plate that read, “His Kids.”  We strongly felt the Lord wanted us to trust Him in this and so we called P143 back and asked who really needed a family.  The children they told us about were two brothers my children had pointed to first when we viewed the photo listing. The boys had been through a lot in their lives and when they arrived, their behavior was a clear reflection of those wounds.  They were aggressive towards us and our children.  They threw tantrums daily.  Through it all, we questioned if we had done the right thing.

Eight days after arriving, one of them broke out in chicken pox.  We were a contagious house for weeks and two other children became infected.  This obstacle actually became a blessing.  Since chicken pox is still considered a serious childhood disease in Europe, the Latvian orphan court allowed them to stay with our family when the host children returned since they were still contagious.  Ten weeks after they arrived in our home for hosting, we were standing with them in a Latvian orphan court on our first trip in the adoption process.

We have been a forever family now for two years.  The boys immediately grew in body and health.  And we all continue to grow in many ways, yet it’s hard to pinpoint specific areas of transformation since we are in the thick of raising them.  Even though the transition has not been easy for any of us, these boys seem like they were always meant to be in our family.  They bring a dynamic that none of us can imagine not having here now.

However difficult, we are all forever changed.  We have been given hearts for the orphan… and have been taken captive by another.  This time we are hosting a sister… younger to some and older to others.  Everyone is ready to give up whatever needed and to do what it takes to get her here.

Hosting and adoption is a journey.  It takes a lifetime to understand all the dynamics of history that arrived in the luggage of these children.  Only Jesus can heal all the wounds inside them.  And we get to be a part of it.

~ The Clausen Family

We cling to the memories of hosting; they keep our hearts alive with love.  The love we felt in such a short amount of time was real.  We truly didn’t know what kind of expectations to have upon meeting our two host sisters.  Upon their arrival at the airport, we settled in our minds that even though we were eager to meet them, they may be reserved, reluctant and possibly scared to meet us.  We held our posters with their pictures hoping they would recognize us out of the other waiting host families.  We spotted them in the group.  Tentatively, I waved.  What joy to see their faces light up with beautiful smiles as they eagerly waved back.  Before the Project 143 team could  even match us with the children, our girls had already pushed their way to the front, pointing to us excitedly.  They ran to us and hugged us tightly, embracing us as if their lives depended on it.  There was no question in our minds, within those first moments; we had done the right thing.  God was in it and our hearts knew it.  Many memories I hold close to my heart, the girls breaking out into song, eager to please attitudes, long hugs, running in our field with our dogs, laughter, dancing, worshiping together, the list goes on and on.  Sometimes we spend our whole life not doing something because of fear.  What were we ever afraid of?  Our lives changed when we totally gave over our reservations and trusted God.  Once we let go, we were blessed beyond measure.